How you talk to yourself matters. Think about the times during a challenging mission when you felt overwhelmed with negative or defeating thoughts compared to those times you told yourself, “You got this!” Your feelings in both situations were probably vastly different. For Service Members, being able to stay calm under pressure is a key responsibility, and your self-talk—or the way you speak to yourself—can change a mission's outcome. A negative inner voice can sometimes feel like an uncontrollable, over-critical force working against you, making you feel doubtful and unproductive. Positive or neutral self-talk can regulate breathing and emotions, prevent stress hormones like cortisol from spiking, and help you feel controlled and resilient during challenging tasks.
Reframe, reflect, relax
Time needed: Less than 1 minute
Distanced self-talk. Try shifting your self-talk from “I” to your name or “you.” Instead of asking, “Why am I so distracted?” try, “Why is Mark so distracted?” Similarly, saying something like, "You’re going to be okay" can make a challenging situation feel easier because you’re helping your brain create psychological distance from your voice. This means thinking about your problem or feelings as if they’re happening to someone else—and using your self-talk to help you stay calm and gain clarity. This practice, known as self-distancing, can reduce emotional intensity, lower stress, and improve decision-making.
Positive self-talk. Your self-talk can sometimes get in the way, and you might tell yourself, “You aren’t good enough.” When this happens, it’s important to gain control and fight back with positive self-talk. Motivate yourself by saying, “I know I can do this! I’ve been training 5 days a week for 3 months to prepare for this event!” Positive self-talk also helps you process situations, regulate emotions, and manage energy levels. It can improve confidence, coordination, focus, and endurance performance too.
Try HPRC’s self-talk worksheet to harness your inner voice and make it a tool for relaxation, resilience, and control.
