Which love language speaks to you?

See caption for alt text

Published on: February 13, 2020

Which love language speaks to you?

There are many ways to keep your relationship healthy and happy over time. A big part of staying close is being aware of how you and your partner feel and express love, so you can give each other what you need. Try to speak the language of love that your partner knows best.

Relationship satisfaction isn’t tied to having the same love language as your partner, but rather how well you bridge the gap to meet their needs. What tells you someone loves you? What matters most to you?

Openness. Be clear about feelings, experiences, needs, and wants.

Teamwork. Share tasks and responsibilities, or do extra things to help each other out.

“Couple” stuff. Attend social activities, family occasions, and other group events together.

Advice. Ask for and receive opinions, feedback, and guidance.

Kind words. Be positive, compliment, appreciate, or encourage. Also, talk about your commitment, care, and love.

Handle conflict. Manage disputes, avoid argument traps, and know when (and how) to validate, apologize, and bounce back.

Intimacy. Show affection, hold hands, hug, and have sex.

Quality time. Do meaningful activities or spend one-on-one time together.

Gifts. Exchange presents that show thought and effort.

CHAMP wants to know:
How useful was the information in this article?


Bunt, S., & Hazelwood, Z. J. (2017). Walking the walk, talking the talk: Love languages, self-regulation, and relationship satisfaction. Personal Relationships, 24(2), 280–290. doi:10.1111/pere.12182

Canary, D. J., & Stafford, L. (2009). Relational maintenance strategies and equity in marriage. Communication Monographs, 59(3), 243–267. doi:10.1080/03637759209376268

Chapman, G., & Green, J. (2017). The 5 Love Languages Military Edition: The Secret to Love That Lasts. Chicago, IL: Northfield Publishing.

Egbert, N., & Polk, D. (2006). Speaking the language of relational maintenance: A validity test of Chapman's (1992) five love languages. Communication Research Reports, 23(1), 19–26. doi:10.1080/17464090500535822