The technology landscape changes every day, making it more and more challenging to navigate. On one hand, with more devices and more media than ever, you and your family have endless opportunities to connect, learn, and create. On the other hand, many risks come with screen use (and overuse). Those risks—from both content and the mental and physical effects of device use—are particularly significant for children and teens. Start by recognizing the pros and cons of technology, and then consider some simple strategies to optimize the potential benefits and reduce the risks.
Digital media use by children, teens, and families
95% of American teens have access to a smartphone, 90% have access to a computer at home, 83% have access to a gaming device, and 97% of households have at least one TV. Most teens actually multitask most of the time they’re using devices, such as watching TV while also on the computer or smartphone. Such multitasking can pose challenges to their ability to learn. And regular exposure to digital media begins for children at just 4 months old, which can be habit-forming and reduce the amount of time children spend doing other things, such as socializing with family or being physically active.
But setting healthy boundaries around screen time isn’t as cut and dried as just restricting access to devices or limiting the number of hours spent on them. That’s because your kids might use their devices to connect to friends at your last duty location or to keep in touch with deployed parents or other relatives, instead of purely for entertainment.
Schoolwork also might require your kids to access the Internet, use certain apps, or be on their devices more often than you usually allow. So, implementing rules to simply cut back on screen time can easily backfire. Instead, focus on what types of online activities should be permitted and when. (Plus, your screen use is the biggest predictor of your kids’ screen use, so don’t make any limitations that you aren’t prepared to follow too.) Try to be thoughtful about how you and your family use technology, and focus on making screen use productive and safe. Creating a family media plan can help you and your family organize healthy boundaries around screen time. Use the optimization strategies below to help you develop a personalized plan.
Connection and communication
Social media, cell phones, video calls, chats, and text messages are just a few ways digital devices help you connect with others. For teens, most technology use is considered a social activity. But the risk is that those virtual connections might get in the way of one-on-one or in-person connections, which are also very important. For example, screen use during mealtimes can reduce opportunities for family cohesion. For parents, technology use can distract from engaging with your children. And for some young children (infants, toddlers, and preschoolers), digital media can actually delay their social and emotional development. Outside the home, cell phone interruption while you’re with another person has been shown to have a negative impact on the ability to form good relationships.
Optimization strategies
- Be the model. For example, if you want family meal time to be a time to connect, then put your cell phone away too. To help promote screen-free meals, try changing your physical environment, such as moving away from the TV to a dining table or outside. You can also try HPRC’s mealtime conversation starters to focus on in-person connection.
- Talk to your kids about which public situations are appropriate (or not) to use a device or cell phone. For example, discuss whether talking on or using their phone is okay while they’re seated in a restaurant, on the school bus, or one-on-one with someone else.
- Consider the social needs of your teen. If you’ve recently moved, or your child is struggling to connect with friends at school, remember how important it can be for them to stay in touch with those who are far away. Worldwide online connections can also help teens who might feel excluded from their local communities find a social circle that fits their needs. Just be sure to have a conversation with them about Internet safety, and review the groups they’re in from time to time.
- Use screen time as an opportunity to connect. Watching TV with your kids and teens can provide opportunities to connect with them by discussing what you’re viewing together. And watching TV with your young children can help them develop their language skills. This interaction also helps you keep an eye on what your kids are watching to ensure it is age-appropriate and educational.
Physical health and sleep
Even though screen time has some definite benefits, it’s also linked to negative health outcomes. Screen use can cause eye-muscle pain, blurry vision, and even hearing or touch illusions (such as thinking you heard your phone ring or felt it vibrate). Teens who watch 5+ hours of TV a day are more likely to be overweight than teens who limit their TV time to less than 2 hours per day. More sedentary screen time often means more snacking and less time being active. And these negative effects during childhood can follow them into adulthood, leading to lifelong consequences such as obesity.
TV commercial viewing has also been linked to children’s weight problems. Kids who watch commercials that advertise foods high in fat, sodium, and/or added sugars, especially during Saturday-morning children’s TV programming, are more likely to eat foods containing too many calories and too few nutrients. And the impact of TV commercials on kids’ food choices extends beyond what they eat at home. It’s also been linked to how often families eat at fast-food restaurants.
Screen time also impacts sleep, which can hurt school performance. To start, the blue light that comes from handheld devices suppresses the sleep hormone, melatonin. For young kids, exciting or scary images from TV shows or videos can also make it hard for them to settle down and rest. And most teens don’t turn off their phones at night, so their sleep might be disrupted by notifications or by feeling they have to respond to messages after they’ve gone to bed.
Optimization strategies
- Help your kids reduce their sedentary screen time outside of what’s needed for school or other social activities. Suggest other activities and screen use that encourages movement (such as video games that include dancing or sports movements). Keep your kids interested in and excited about exercise by making activity into a game.
- Make sure to watch what your kids are watching—that means the shows and the commercials. When possible, watch TV together and move more during commercial breaks. Encourage them to get active by doing some jumping jacks, sit-ups, or push-ups!
- Remember that commercials can influence kids’ food choices, so teach them to spot advertising tricks. Keep the conversation going about the importance of healthy eating habits. Heading to the grocery store? Point out nutritious alternatives to your little ones, and ask older kids to help compare labels.
- Discourage devices and TVs in the bedroom, and limit their use in the 2 hours before bed. Brainstorm other activities (such as doing arts and crafts or taking walks) to help your kids wind down at night.
Mental and emotional health
The mental and emotional effects of digital media on your kids can be significant. On the positive side, access to entertainment, games, and social networks can offer stress relief, and even a form of self-care. But your teen’s attachment to devices or video games can also become addictive, particularly if their technology use impacts their ability to focus on school work or relationships. Attachment to devices also has the potential to create a variety of different anxieties. For example, teens might experience “FOMO” (fear of missing out) when they can’t always see what their peers are up to or respond to texts or chats right away. But zero screen use has mental and emotional consequences too, such as increased risk of depression. So moderation appears to be the key!
Younger children can experience mental health impacts as well. Consider when you let your little ones use the tablet or watch a video on your phone. If you tend to give them a device when they’re upset or cranky, they might begin to rely on it as a coping mechanism rather than developing their own emotional regulation skills. Instead, try other ways to coach your kids’ emotions using one-on-one connection.
Optimization strategies
- Discuss boundaries for using devices. Remember, it’s not about simply cutting out cell phone use or reducing TV time—it’s about being really thoughtful about when devices are used, and for what purposes. If your kids or teens show addictive behaviors or other anxieties around using their devices, talk to them about creating new boundaries. Get their input and include their thoughts when setting limits.
- Use digital content to boost self-esteem. Consider watching shows or videos with characters your kids can identify with in a positive way. Think about the values you want to build in your child, and try to find shows, movies, and games that build these values. And look for content that shows military families and kids.
- Encourage healthy hobbies and other coping strategies in your children. Technology can help them learn and develop and can be a great source of entertainment, but it’s important to explore ways for your children to decompress without it.
- Talk regularly with your kids about what they watch and do online. The more aware you are of their screen choices, the better you can help them if they see something upsetting—and guide them to safer content.
Bottom line
Digital media is everywhere, and kids and teens are using more and more technology at younger and younger ages. As a military parent, technology can be a lifeline for your kids to connect to those they care about. And digital media can be a valuable (and necessary) tool for their learning and development. But there are also many challenges and risks when technology use is left unchecked. By making some thoughtful adjustments, having a few pointed conversations with your children, and creating a family media plan, you can help optimize your family’s technology use—and health.
Updated: August 13, 2025
