My friends keep saying my perfectionism is getting in my way of finding a partner, but I don’t think it’s really a problem. Is it?

Perfection in relationships is an unattainable goal. Relationships by definition are “messy” and ever-changing. Mistakes are bound to happen when two people with different wants, needs, and opinions interact. So stay away from demanding perfection—of yourself or others. Allow yourself to make mistakes, and admit it when you messed up or you’re wrong. Mistakes are great learning experiences that will help you grow closer to that unattainable perfection, as long as you “own up.” And being graciously imperfect will also make you a more desirable partner.

Resources

Fincham, F. D., & Beach, S. R. H. (2010). Marriage in the new millennium: A decade in review. Journal of Marriage and Family, 72(3), 630–649. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3737.2010.00722.x

Gottman, J. M., & Notarius, C. I. (2002). Marital research in the 20th century and a research agenda for the 21st century. Family Process, 41(2), 159–197. doi:10.1111/j.1545-5300.2002.41203.x

Yuan, J. W., McCarthy, M., Holley, S. R., & Levenson, R. W. (2010). Physiological down-regulation and positive emotion in marital interaction. Emotion, 10(4), 467–474. doi:10.1037/a0018699