Financial stresses are real and affect many Service Members. Sometimes stress can explode into bigger problems if you use drugs or alcohol as a means to cope or if you take out your frustrations on your spouse. How you perceive your stressor has a big impact on how stressful your situation feels. You can always choose how to react.
For instance, as you get your tax information together, you might realize you won’t be able to afford that new car or move into that new apartment, after all. You might think, “I’m a failure,” or “My spouse screwed up.” Such thoughts place blame on yourself or your spouse and stir up feelings of shame and/or anger. If you let these feelings drive your behaviors, you could make matters worse. Not dealing with your shame well enough could lead to negative coping behaviors such as using drugs or alcohol. Not effectively managing your anger might lead to ugly arguments with your spouse.
Rather than playing the blame game, it might be more constructive to think, “We didn’t save enough this year, but we’ll make some adjustments and still meet our long-term goals.” Yes, you’ll feel disappointed, but you’ll also feel optimistic and ready to make those much-needed changes.
To learn more on how to take charge of your thoughts, or accept them and let them pass, check out HPRC’s tips on positive thinking. And use the ABCs of Performance worksheet to help increase your awareness, plan better outcomes, and improve your performance—financial and otherwise! Also, Military OneSource offers financial management services to help you plan a budget, do your taxes, and more.